How to Get Over a Broken Heart

The time for sadness has ended. It's time for you to become yourself again.

But first who am I?

I am just a woman who didn't follow the normal dating path and as a result had years more than the average woman to be blissfully happy and innocent.

When I was 17, I was very happy. I knew out there was the man I was going to marry and I was going to save myself for him. Reality hit after college when I discovered that between myself and my future husband was a lot of heartbreak and hurt.

My first heartbreak left me with a deep sadness that lasted about three months.

I continued to date feeling as if I was losing apart of myself with each date I went on. Even though the person wasn't the right one, I still felt sad because once again I was alone with no idea who my future husband could be.

But then someone came along that I thought could be the one, but after sometime I knew he wasn't and that realization broke my heart.

I know you have been where I have. I thought of him every second, I had imaginary conversations with him in my head, I missed him, I hoped for a future with him. I carried my phone with me everywhere hoping he would call or text and was miserable when he didn't. I kept wondering what I was doing wrong. In short I had ceased being myself and instead became a vessel of adoration for someone who didn't deserve my efforts.

But I learned three truths.

1) There is always someone better.

2) When that someone else comes along, you will wonder how you ever could have been sad about anyone that came before this person.

3) ANYONE that makes you unhappy is not the one for you.

It was that last truth that caused my sadness to vanish. Hear me now, no matter how perfect you think this person is or how much you fear no one else will be better, if this person makes you unhappy they are NOT the one because the one would not want you to suffer.

I knew that I was the one causing my sadness. I was letting myself think of someone who wasn't thinking of me. I was feeling sad about someone who was out somewhere laughing and not giving me a second thought. And no way was I going to mourn the loss of someone who couldn't recognize my worth.

Why am I single? Because I haven't met a man smart enough to see I am the one he shouldn't let go.

What to do:

1) Turn off your phone and put it away. Let the people you talk to daily(except the one you are trying to avoid obviously) know you are doing this and that they can reach you via email or another number. Doing this will give you a much needed mental rest.

2) Do not talk about the pretender or the illusion(called such because this person is just a mirage, someone you thought was the one but isn't) Talking about the illusion may seem therapeutic but all it is doing is continuing the obsessive thought.

3) Distract yourself. Go out to eat with friends, go to the movies. Do not make the mistake I did and go to a club. Exercise even though I know when you feel sad, you lack the energy. I know the feeling of just wanting to sleep. Don't give in to it. Laughter is a huge help, so hang out with your friends and laugh and watch any television program or movie that will make you laugh.

4) Hope. Rent a movie with the actor or actress you think is perfect. Watch it and realize that there is someone out there for you. Someone who will not cause you unhappiness. Someone who will love you completely 100% no change needed.

Still not convinced? Then write a list of what the illusion does that makes you unhappy. The illusion will keep doing these things, even if you end up with them , you still will be unhappy.

Why stay with them when you could be with someone who lights up your world? Why settle for someone just because they are there?

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not blissfully happy and running through fields of daisies. But any longing I feel is not for the person who is not right for me, it is for the person I am waiting for and the not knowing when we will meet.